Dead and Gone
by mynamemattersnot
Summary: How did it feel to watch Romulus destroyed? Written in Nero's perspective.


**Dead and Gone**

**Author's Note: I felt a lot sympathy for the Romulans up until the point Vulcan is destroyed, but I can still understand the need for vengeance which is why I wrote this. I don't own Star Trek: 2009 or the Countdown comics or any Star Trek. From the perspective of Nero.**

I didn't really think this was going to happen. Spock had promised to save the planet. He promised. He promised, yet he failed. I had to watch as Romulus was destroyed by the Hobus supernova. All of us had to watch as our planet was destroyed.I had to watch with a knowledge that in that moment I lost everything I ever really cared about. I watched everything be destroyed. My family- my family they were _gone_. My wife was now _gone_. My child whom hadn't even had the chance to experience life was now _gone_. My home was now _gone_. Everything was _gone_. Everything had burned in the fury of the star. _Everything had burned. _The federation failed to do anything about the destruction of the planet. They failed to properly warn those on the planet. They failed to prevent the death of millions. And Spock. Spock had failed to save Romulus. He failed. They all failed and now it was all gone. _Gone._ Millions of lives were now lost. We all saw it. We all had to feel the grief. We all had to lose everything. We all had to feel the pain that burned infinite times over. The pain that stung harshly. The pain that changed my life. The pain that had changed all of our lives.

Then, Spock had used the red matter several moments too late and the star that was once there turned into a black hole. When I thought I knew what was going to happen next, I didn't fight it. In fact, I went into my fate hoping perhaps I could join my e'lev again. I could see my child. I could be reunited with them in Vorta Vor. Nobody argued with me when I asked to go into the blackhole. I asked to go straight into what would surely be death and no one argued. It was the one moment I would have considered objections without anger, irritation, or disappointment. I made that known and nobody argued. They all seemed to agree with me. Some probably agreed out of loyalty. Some probably agreed out of grief. Some probably also had the same hopes as me. Some probably agreed because they couldn't stand living on with so many dead. Whatever the reasons, it had been a unanimous decision.

When we voluntarily went into the black hole, to face our deaths no of us expected what was next. The vessel shook a little, but we weren't instantly crushed by the blackhole's gravity or pulled apart. The vessel just shook and nothing was damaged. None of us perished. None of us meant death. Perhaps something had wanted us to stay alive because instead of death, we were harmlessly released back into space. When and where we were, nobody had known. Nobody knew. Nobody cared at first. Everyone was just grief-filled. Everyone was simply in pain. I sometimes wish we had died. I wished that I died. I wished that I had just simply had been destroyed by the blackhole. Then, perhaps everything would be over and I'd be reunited with my family. Fate was too cruel for that and we all ended up hear in some unknown place and time.

It was in this moment we took our first opportunity to truly accept that Romulus was gone and our families dead. We had to accept for some reason we did not die. We had to accept that all that we had left was each other, the grief, and the pain. We grieved. Every one of us grieved. We all marked ourselves permanently with grief. The marks of sorrow we marked forever on our face. We would never forget. We would never not be mourning. We would never stop feeling the pain. We would always remember. It would always be with us for as long as each of us lived. The pain ran deep. It hurt. It would always hurt.

The moment we found out where we were was another shock in its own. We were stuck in a time before it all happened. We were in a time far before Romulus was destroyed. Ayel had wanted to go home, but to simply go home after all that had happened wasn't enough. Something inside me wanted more. Something inside me wanted the federation to pay for what they did. Something inside me wanted Spock to pay. Something inside me wanted vengeance. I might have been able to let go of the idea to go home. In fact, I did try, but we were stopped by Klingons. After a long time in the Klingon prisons, the rage, the vengeance grew.

I had to have the vengeance after a while. I could no longer let it go. As long as the federation was around, Romulus could never thrive. As long as Spock lived and his allies lived, all of this could happen again. I wanted revenge. I wanted revenge for having to feel the grief that I did. I wanted revenge for the pain that I suffered. I wanted revenge for those left around me that could understand exactly how I felt. I needed this revenge. I needed it for my wife. I needed it for my unborn child. I needed it for every soul that died. Everything could no longer simply be fixed by simply saving the homeworld. There was a hunger for more. Once we escaped, that need for vengeance took over any consideration I had of the others opinions. What I need to do was see the Federation burned like Romulus had burned. I needed to see Spock pay for his lies and insolence.

Then, plans were changed and I plotted the downfall of the Federation starting with my revenge on Spock. Once I had this idea, even Ayel my closest friend couldn't sway me nor did he try. He stood by me and defended this new idea I had. He might not have agreed with me, but he still stuck by me over the years of planning and assisted me in whatever way I needed. He became like a brother to me. He became everything that I had lost. He talked the others who weren't sure of my plans into following me and trusting my judgment. We. We would take the Federation together Ayel and I and all the rest. He would be more than rewarded for his loyalty and when it was all over, we would return to Romulus as heroes. We would reunite with the families we had lost. And the Empire. The Empire will rule the Alpha Quadrant. The Empire would rule the entire galaxy. This- this I _wanted_. This I had to have.

**Author's Note: Well trying to explain Nero's reasons are hard. I hope I did a little justice for him. Do review.**


End file.
